Hard Times.

I have tried to pull a post together three times in the last week and each time I trash the draft. I haven't known what to say. Antonio decided to go back to Asheville two weeks ago. Out of respect for his privacy, I won't go into the details, but things were not going well for him in Denver. The time he spent here had a few moments of peace but mostly things were chaotic and difficult for everyone. Meg & I had hoped things would improve, but they continued to decline from day one. I never saw the boy I signed up to help in Denver. It's like someone else came to Denver in his place.

Meg and I have mentored Antonio for the last four and a half years. That is over half of our relationship together. It is really painful to know he will not be part of our daily lives. We are not in contact with him right now, as that is what is best for us. We are able to check up on him through the grapevine. The information we are getting confirms that it was for the best for him to move back to Asheville.

We spent the last two weeks with friends and family trying to recover and reclaim our lives without Antonio. It's tough as we both we just getting used to having him around all the time. We are making daily progress but it is slow going. Our family mantra right now is Easy Does It.

For all your supporters out there, we appreciate all the support you have given us over the past four and a half years. Antonio will appreciate when he is old enough to understand how many people cared about him. I know being 15 is hard enough age when you come from a loving family who cares about you. His background was too much for him to over come at 15. He has been taught a lot of bad habits and a lot of things that are not helpful to being a successful person. As anyone out there knows it's very hard to break bad habits. He is really struggling right now. We know we did everything we could to try and undo a lot of these habits, but the pull of poverty is bigger than us.

I wanted to specifically address all the wonderful folks donated to help out with Antonio. We were able to give a number of things we had purchased for Antonio to a friend Antonio made while in Denver. Antonio met Elisha when he was attending the work study program this summer at Arrupe Jesuit . Elisha is attending Arrupe this fall and he plans on being the first person in his family to graduate from high school. He comes from a very rough background. He has a very supportive mother and he is very determined to be successful. His mom dropped out of high school and really wants Elisha to get his high school degree and go to college. She does not want him to have to struggle like she does. It's beautiful to see someone really showing up even though things are really hard for her and for her family. Elisha is showing up big time. He is willing to do whatever it takes to be successful. They don't have much in the way of material stuff, yet they seem to find a lot of happiness. It's really beautiful to see. We wish Antonio had this kind of support from his mom.

For now, Meg and I are in Denver, and we are going to try it for three months and see how things go. I am working on re-building my graphic design business here and Meg is doing the same with her photography business. We are planning a lot of day trips from Denver into nature to recharge and recover.

Neither of us know what the future holds for us or for Antonio but we know we did all we could and now we have to be patient and witness what unfolds. If you pray, pray, if you chant, chant, if you send good vibes, send them please. We could all use the positive energy and prayers right now.